I'm really into asian looking animals
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
