Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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