dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
