just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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