Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize