your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
