But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
