areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
