What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
