i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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