Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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