I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want to make out with him forever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
