Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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