these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
