Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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