I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
