He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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