All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
