i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
