I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
