dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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