my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
