So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
