Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize