"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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