It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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