Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
COCAINE IS GR8
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
