Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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