We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
