you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
