some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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