Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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