we have officially lost it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
