Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
