If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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