Pants 0. Shit 1.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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