so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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