I wish I could punch you in the face.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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