Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
