I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
