last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
