You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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