you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
high people should be assigned attendants
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
