I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
