I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize