My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
