The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
