Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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