Already got asked if we're dating
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
