If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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