You're my little dorito
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
