i permit you to call me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
