I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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