Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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(281): View more from Texas

I just know... :) goodntight

(1-281): View more from Texas

Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.

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(626): View more from California

Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots

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(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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(254): View more from Texas

His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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(312): View more from Illinois

This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her

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(305): View more from Florida

Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness

(305): View more from Florida

They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"

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