I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.