Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one

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  (415): we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one http://tfl.nu/7sll
  Replies (16) Good night (926) Bad night (526)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?

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  (205): I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas? http://tfl.nu/8ynt
  Replies (5) Good night (2644) Bad night (559)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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  (906): I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again http://tfl.nu/daze
  Replies (83) Good night (663) Bad night (3231)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

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  (401): Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night. http://tfl.nu/eotk
  Replies (8) Good night (578) Bad night (3241)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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  (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1
  Replies (15) Good night (10429) Bad night (1060)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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  (765): I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position. http://tfl.nu/oixi
  Replies (14) Good night (4584) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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  (401): This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/lyuy
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (2962)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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  (314): I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate. http://tfl.nu/fw6h
  Replies (12) Good night (2642) Bad night (914)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.

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  (210): Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors. http://tfl.nu/4w9v
  Replies (20) Good night (3630) Bad night (1940)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

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  (612): What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains. http://tfl.nu/eu34
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (712)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

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  (703): There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened. http://tfl.nu/llik
  Replies (19) Good night (1481) Bad night (924)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)

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  (773): Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:) http://tfl.nu/gxuq
  Replies (2) Good night (1365) Bad night (421)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.

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  (780): lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic. http://tfl.nu/pqzx
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (248)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge

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  (907): Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge http://tfl.nu/scnb
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.

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  (337): If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto. http://tfl.nu/lfjp
  Replies (0) Good night (687) Bad night (220)

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