Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

she started talking about my kids

(1-940): View more from Texas

was she topless?

Fav 14 995 2017
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

Fav 17 4517 727
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?

Fav 6 3669 1160
share tweet
(310): View more from California

...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.

Fav 53 1197 4750
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

Fav 53 11967 1821
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

Fav 24 5443 1381
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!

Fav 6 2235 931
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(308): View more from Nebraska

You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.

Fav 1 626 514
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.

Fav 2 36 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT