So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry about my life...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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