New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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