Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
