Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
