i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sorry about my life...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
