Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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