She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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