Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
