so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
