Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
