I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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