you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
