im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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