so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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