Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
