We won't sleep together?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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