i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
he's single and there are thong briefs.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
